In the 1980's we had the mediocrity of Tony Tubbs, Greg Page, Tony Tucker and Pinklon Thomas. But at least we also had the excitement of a prime Mike Tyson launching fistic assaults on all of them. Today's heavyweight soup features Golotas, Brewsters, Barretts and Rahmans- oh, and we can't forget the Jason of the division (because he never dies) John Ruiz. The problem is, they keep fighting eachother, and none of them are creating very entertaining fights.

And so it was last night at the United Center in Chicago, where an angry crowd who should've known better booed the snorefest between Hasim "The Rock"Rahman and Monte "Two Gunz" Barrett, in which Rahman won a unanimous decision. Rahman, 41-5-1 (33), who briefly held the heavyweight title when he knocked out Lennox Lewis in South Africa, earns- if that's the right word- a shot at the inactive heavyweight champ Vitali Klitschko. Barrett falls to 31-4 (17), and is right back where he started, which is no where, really. Also, Ricardo Mayorga beat Michele Piccirillo on a points win and, ridiculously, is now the WBC super welterweight titlist. Only in Don Kings' America.

The heavyweight division needs an adrenaline shot like never before, and unless Mike Tyson or Evander Holyfield can travel in a time machine or bathe in a fountain of youth, it doesn't look like it's going to get one anytime soon.