Some guys just don't get it.

I never used to get it. And now I do. Parents, our schools, and especially the media- through movies, music videos, commercials, soap operas and sitcoms- have all told us how to treat a woman and "what a girl wants". But has it ever occurred to you that women never fall for "nice guys"? Furthermore, has it ever dawned on you that WOMEN DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT?

I read an article from an insult or joke website called the "5 Golden Rules For Success With Women (The Alternative Guide)", and the funniest part about it was that it was so true.

Here is a summary of the Rules:

1. ASK AND YOU SHALL NOT RECIEVE.
For men, sex is a physical need. For women, it's an emotional one. A woman need only the vaguest hint that you desire her sexually, and that is enough to fulfill her emotional need. Having said that, in order to stand a chance of actually having sex with her, you need to convince her that you are not sexually attracted to her; that you don't find her sexually appealing. THE LESS SEXUALLY INTERESTED IN HER YOU SEEM, THE MORE SEXUALLY INTERESTED IN YOU SHE BECOMES.

2. NEVER GIVE AN HONEST ANSWER.
So many men believe that they can impress women by showing unwavering honesty. In actuality, you impress women by telling outrageous lies. Honesty is a trait valued by women ONLY WHEN ITS APPLICATION IS TO CRITIZE AND DISSECT PEOPLE THEY DISLIKE. Honest men make good friends, but bad relationships (unless the word "platonic" is a favourite in your vocabulary). Therefore you should always lie. It is the quality women most admire about men- even though they act like they don't.

3. DON'T LOOK FOR A REASON.
NEVER ATTRIBUTE LOGICAL THOUGHT PROCESSES TO A WOMAN. Men THINK, and women FEEL. The logical mind treats a contradiction by rejecting it, and women are full of contradictions. So any attempt by a man to understand a woman is useless. Women spend their whole lives looking for reasons to why things happen the way they do, but only rationalize them by using their feelings, not logic.

4. LET HER TALK.
Women love to talk. Your job is to introduce subjects for her to talk about. A good idea is to introduce subjects in accordance with her mood; this allows her to express her current feelings. NEVER INTRODUCE ANY SUBJECT THAT REQUIRES THINKING. This will confuse her, leading to silence and sulking after she exhibits an ill-fated attempt at coherent input on what she feels is a "tedious" subject. A woman who can speak to a man for hours will think of him as a great conversationalist, despite the fact that she has done 99% of the talking. Women often talk about their problems because they are unable to solve them the way men can, that is, to find a workable solution. Through conversation about the problem they might solve them accidentally. This is why you should only make remarks like "I agree" when she offers an opinion, "what do you think?" when she asks a question, and "I disagree" if she makes a self-deprecating or self-derogatory statement. WOMEN NEVER ACCEPT ANY CRITICISM OF THEMSELVES AS BEING VALID; ANY INTRODUCTION OF SELF-CRITICISM IS DESIGNED ONLY TO TEST YOUR REPLY. If you agree and offer constructive criticism or self-improvement, she will dismiss you as rude, arrogant, a control freak, or argumentative.

5. BE A MAN.
The traditional role of man as a hunter/gatherer is credited to evolution, just as the role of woman as caregiver/nurturer/off-spring-raiser. What women find attractive in men is attributed to evolution, therefore a man must be dynamic and in control at all times. Any sign of weakness will cause the woman to ditch the man for a more suitable mate. What women want is a bad boy who will treat them well, but not so well that they don't have anything to complain about to their female friends. Women bond with eachother by complaining about the opposite sex.

Pop culture and the corporate marketing ploy to paint a massive grey line between the genders and sexuality have created so many unfulfilling realtionships, broken families and silly dating drama games, literally fucking up people's lives. I'm sure we've all been through it. I am asking the guys to read this and apply their own logic here; it is up to you to BE A MAN AND PUT AN END TO THIS FIASCO. Please read the articles on Unisexification to shed some light on why this is occurring.

© 2004 Luigi Di Serio